October 10, 2016

The Penultimate Bike Porn ... mmm MKE?

This is it.

We are on the verge of getting sentimental, because we have done so much writing and engaging more than 1000 posts and 700k views over the past decade. But the numbers, which are interesting are nothing compared to the qualitative sense of value from our interactions with people over the years.

We have had some great opportunities to challenge strongly held views about sex and mobility. The dominate culture rarely makes room for anything other than the tightly prescribed notions about how you can move and how you can fuck. But these ideas are limiting the vast possibilities for bikesexual expression. "You are unfulfilled! You must desire this expensive car, and desire this unrealistic body..." So many of us just watch whatever free porn is good enough, even tho its painfully formulaic, so formulaic that its like eating formula intended for an infant. By only consuming the porn equivalent baby food we are denying ourselves the complexity and diverse flavors our mature palettes deserve!

Milwaukee (or as they like to abbreviate it, MKE) is the home of macro beers but they also got plenty of people appreciating the finer things. So while most overlook our plucky independent film fest we've seen a growing appreciation for the crazy fun happening in the rather eclectic neighborhood of Riverwest and specifically the happy (if not slightly wobbly) patrons who frequent the Riverwest Public House, Bike Smut's home in MKE for the past 4 years.

And now it would seem the rather attentive but prudish censors of FB have decided to ban RevPhil yet again, so combined with the difficulty finding a venue in Madison and a strong case of homesickness the following screenings in Madison and Minneapolis are cancelled/postponed indefinitely.

The final screening of Bike Smut 9: Science Friction 
on this fucking long ass tour that is almost over!
Saturday, October 15
Riverwest Public House
815 E Locust St
8PM,   $5

So this really is it. Milwaukee, i hope you are ready because you are getting the entire truck load of porn coming your way and this is your last change to get it!

October 4, 2016

Until it Burns, Chicago

Chicago, the 3rd city of these United States and the 1st place to inspire a riot during Bike Smut.

Its not everyday that the audience, due to vast intoxication, could belligerently necessitate stopping the screening. In fact its only happened a few times, but never with as much gusto as it was that cold March night at the historic Music Box in 2008. Screenings since then have come in all manners of flavor. We had our second show further west at a now defunct venue called Reversible Eye Gallery A two-person birthday party resulted in a back-to-back knocktapus (that's a four pairs of boobs slapping your in the face while your hands are behind your back... in case you didn't know) The stressful last min changes to the screen and projector at the Viaduct Theater at part of the Backlash Tour resulted in a enthralled audience. A return to the Music Box in 2011 was moderately successful with lots of sponsors but the massive venue was deemed just too large for our niche audience.

Finally after a few years of trying we were able to make a screening happen at Co-prosperity Sphere, and it was grand! We came back to do it again last year in conjunction with the WNBR and lots of local artists but while it seemed promising the record breaking rainfall was less than accommodating. Plus there was a shooting around the corner. Its a big city, these things happen.

Now we return for our final Chicago show, bringing thoughtful repose and levity to the people with performance and porn.

Sunday October 9th
2200 N. California
7:30 pm doors
8:15 pm show
$9 no one turned away for lack of funds

FB event


September 29, 2016

Bike!Bike! Wants the D

Once considered the city of the future, Detroit has been on a decline almost as long as Buffalo. Now its famous for its decay and rebirth. But what kind of phoenix will rise from the ashes of Motor City? We have seen what extensive highways diving roads does to neighborhoods, what the legacy of Robert Moses means for childhood asthma, what abandoned buildings mean to bikers obsessed with post-apocalypse-themed pornography!
It means doing the hard work of organizing within and between communities. It means going outside your comfort zone today to improve your opportunities tomorrow. It means seeing our vulnerabilities as an opportunity for growth. It means making space for others to grow. It means the future is in our hands.

Don't let your idle hands be the devil's plaything! Unless that is what you are into, but don't expect any pleasureful rubbing in return. Get in there and get your hands dirty in a good way!

This weekend Detroit hosts Bike! Bike! the annual gathering of bike collectives. Folks interested in learning and sharing host workshops and events. Including but not limited to the LAST EVER screening of Bike Smut in Detroit.

Come for the smut, stay for the radical civic betterment.

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction
Saturday, October 1st
4210 Trumbull
7:40 pm
$9 donation
Adults Only

September 26, 2016

Rim Job Across The Rust Belt

What's this? So much porn that even we epic bloggers of 10 years cannot keep up? With over a thousand posts, many of them with salient information it was bound to happen sometime. We had a show in Buffalo and we didn't even make a post for it! Wasupwiththat?!?
  We had a full house in Buffalo! Sorry if you didn't hear about it. Thanks to Hot Mommas for  hosting us and all these fab performers. It was a wild night. So much excitement, and also confusion and also delight.

So we have officially started our final tour of the land of steel. This part of the country has seen better days but we love a touch of grey, or in this case, patina, in our rides. So we are delighted to be in the midst of our Rim Job Across The Rust Belt mini tour. Its already started hitting us fast. Saturday night was an epic blur, which probably means it was a success because other than the people who were ejected for yelling racist shit (no doubt, doing their part to Make American Porn Great Again) everyone was beaming massive smiles.

We hope to post some videos soon but for now these glam pics will have to suffice. So exciting to have our our Jetson's-themed Rosie the Sex Robot!

Tuesday we return to Columbus OH, where we have not had a show since early 2008! So we have 8 years of inspiring porn to choose from. What will it be?  
  • consensual non-consent / forced haircuts from Chicago?
  • golden showers and swampy dendrophilia from Gainesville?
  • greasy cock -and-ball torture from Berlin?
  • spaghetti-western anarchists from Montreal?
  • gender queer Mario Brothers from Geneva?
  • hardfem, bicycle-mounted, cavalry-archers hunting to feed their sexual appetites in Phoenix? 
  • a hardcore, ginger-on-ginger bisexual, bikesexual educational film?
Either way, it will be a night to remember, and remember it is for ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Tuesday, Sept 27
Columbus, OH

FB Event

Bike Smut: Smut Pedalers Ride
6:30 PM at Goodale Park Shelter House

Ride starts at 7 to get you all geared up for the show
Adult activities along the way

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction

8:30 PM, NoWhere House
1217 N 4th St.
9pm Show begins!
Suggested donation $5
Adult Beverages and snacks available
Screen printing of your items available on site for small donations as well. Bring something sexy!

Cum with the group or on your own. Provocative short films and titillating performances. 

Next stop: Bike!Bike! wants the D

Art and Illustration by Mickey Harmon

September 21, 2016


We are fresh out of Harvest Festival, the electro-dance filled forest 300 km north of Toronto. We partied, we made silly, we worked with our local host to fabricate a pedal-powered disco... and we showed some classic bicycle pornography to some hippies in the woods. Now its time to get deep into Canada's most popular city for our last ever screening here!

The first show we ever did was at Cine Cycle and, honest to mercy, it included some locally made, live-action tentacle porn.

this is not from that show but gawd we love Huebucket's work

The following year we were treated to some bicycle bondage as our hosts proceeded to tie up and suspend $15,000 worth of bikes that made as art, never to be ridden. Plus a dance party that raged past dawn. Stunning.

Our 5th year was half consumed by our first European tour, the other half we were driving back along the southern border on The Orgasm Trail (because the south didn't get the 4th year)

We returned to Cine Cycle for Bike Smut 6: Turning Trixxx, which included our first collaboration from the amazing sex-positive store, Good For Her. On top of providing excellent body-positive support to those exploring sexuality they also organize the Feminist Porn Awards, which are on sabbatical at the moment, likely for similar reasons that Bike Smut is retiring... when you hold yourself to such high standards its difficult to maintain a pristine track record, and as they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

The following year was a somewhat stressful ride from Buffalo that included an emergency repair of our hand-built trailer.   There was some serious biker cred back in those days. Yeesh!

Last year we upped-the-punx with a collaboration with Soy Bomb housing coop and the Welcome to Toronto art collective.  Fabulous art was made and distributed and the party was a massive success.

This year we return to our Toronto roots. Back with the crazy old British bike mechanic who loves independent film and dirty jokes. Come on down and wish us farewell as we dance the night away!

Thursday September 22 
CineCycle 129 Spadina Avenue (in the Coach house in the Alley)
7:30 pm doors
8:15 pm show
9:30 pm afterparty private FB event

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT! with Mineta and 3 DJs!


September 9, 2016

Fin Du Monde Cyclosessual

Pour la dernière fois, Bike Smut, le festival cyclo-érotique, est de retour à Montréal

Bike Smut, un festival international itinérant qui célèbre le vélo et une culture du sexe positive, s’arrête à Montréal pour la cinquième et dernière fois ce samedi à 20:00 au Café L’Artère. Sous le thème de la “Science Friction” cette année, le festival présente à chaque édition une nouvelle programmation de films sur le vélo et le sexe, faits par des cyclistes, des cinéastes et queers du monde entier. 

“Faites-vous partie de ceux qui pensent que de meilleurs moyens de transport et qu'une vie sexuelle épanouie sont la clef d'une meilleure qualité de vie ? Ou pensez-vous simplement que faire du vélo est sexy ? Ou alors pédaler vous fait juste du bien ?” demande Rev Phil Sano, un des organisateurs du festival.

Faire un film, c'est facile ! Le diffuser peut être plus compliqué. Au cours des 10 dernières années, le festival a voyagé un peu partout pour montrer et partager ces contenus des plus excitants. Les vidéos présentés ne sont pas offerts en DVD ni diffusés sur le net. La seule façon de voir ces films, c'est de se déplacer aux séances (18 ans et plus) toutes remplies d'adultes consentants ! Libre à tous d'exprimer vos idées sur le vélo et le sexe sans risquer que son boss, grand-mère ou ex-vélo ne le découvre !

Il y aura des performances, des jeux, des choses à gagner et 90 minutes de films érotiques radicaux qui célèbrent le vélo - centrés sur la femme, centré sur l'hommes, trans, queer, gay et “bikesexuels”. Et c'est votre seule chance de les voir.

samedi sept 10
7000 Avenue du Parc
présentations 20h       
films 21h       
party 23h       
$5-10 donation
Adults Only

September 6, 2016

au revior, Montreal

Montreal, we are ending this Francophilic relationship!

Well, more like we hope all you french-friendly folk will come visit us for a change as this Saturday is the LAST EVER screening in Montreal.

Lets take a moment to think back to some of the highlights of the past several episodes in Quebec.

Fleshback to the first time Bike Smut played in MTL we opened for a play party we a variety of sexual acts happening all over. Dubious that Interstice still exists but it was in Griffintown and it was amazing. Naturally there are not many photos but they did send us this a few days later.

We came back to Montreal to bring Bike Smut 4:PLAY to a place called Death Church in Verdun a year later. It really was an old church that had been refurbished to produce a more METAL experience. Go figure, the capital city of North America has more churches than it knows what to do with. It was a good screening from the crusty punks who had a variety of sex toys made from bike parts. That was our first experience with DIY Montreal poutine: buy a big bag of curds direct from a farm, then get your fries and gravy sourced from the local corner store.

Our break out show in Montreal was Bike Smut 6: Turning Trixxx. We had a lot of investment and the larger bike community finally got to put the pieces together. This was our first time in Café L'Artère, coopérative de solidarité

The talented performers of Solar Year set the mood before our show started:

Miss Poppy Cox was speaking immensely adorable (and pretty accurate) French to the crowd:


Then the following year our fabulous hosts brought us to a historic strip club, Cafe Cleopatra. The debauchery was on and the dancing was good. This marked the north-easternmost corner of the Porny Express bike tour. Reverend Phil rode through the encroaching winter with the addition of bike tube gaskets, a cheap and easy way to keep the muck out of your bearings. Whew! With as dirty as we get it was a welcome addition.


We returned to Cleopatra for "Come Again" when we showed the full version of Brazen Saddles, one of the most ambitious films produced for Bike Smut. Bringing together the entire community. With lots of exploration and tension, a biker gang being chased by a bike cop laid a trap then they decided to really Fuck the Police... consensually! This was extra meaningful because our event took place over May Day so the revolutionaries were out in the streets.

You can just see the gas canisters being shot at the crowd from the Police in the distance

after the police added gas there was a lot of chaos
which resulted in 1000s of people scattered across the streets

Those amazing handmade vests that were featured in Brazen Saddles (learn more about this fab film here) were created within the Montreal Biker community. We got to see some behind the scenes creations of Oxyd Creations. If you know a badass biker you want to get one of these handmade vests; if you want more pegging start with a harness that looks good and feels good! We wrote about their fresh bikesexual wear last year and we are excited to have them vending with Bike Smut again this year!


Now we go back to Café L'Artère and have a lot of exciting times planned. Stay tuned for more details on presentations, performers, DJs, discounts for entry, and extra fun we are working to having with you!

Saturday, September 10
7000 Avenue du Parc
8pm presentations
9pm cinema
11pm dance

August 30, 2016

Where Vermont meets New Hamptire

At the junction of the Connecticut River, the Mascoma River and the White River is town called White River Junction. That is the next stop for Bike Smut!

Our last visit to WRJ was 7 years ago! Since we make an original 90-min program each year that's a lot of porn to choose from. What rare gems will we unearth for the unsuspecting denizens of this sleepy berg?

We have some pretty sexy bikes in some very sexy videos... a scant few are from Italy, where they really know a thing or two about bike porn!

There's also a few from the southwest, Beaus and Arrows shows women hunting for their bikesexual partners...

Then from Montreal, we have Brazen Saddles... an all fem bikepunx gang traps a queer bike cop and punish them with handcuffs and bike tube floggers.

or the immensely popular, Derailed, where professional porn star, Sebastian Keys shows Johnny Utah the importance of proper tension in your bike repairs!

Plus we get to make a special performance! We have so many! What a delightful choice to have available!!

Its a great problem to have and as many of you know, we are all about having better problems!

Wednesday August 31
Main St Museum
58 Bridge St. White River Junction
7-8pm presentations and opening
8pm - films
End - performance
We will have a presentation from Dr. Victoria Hartmann, director of the Sex Museum in Las Vegas 

August 28, 2016

Ride As Bare As You Dare in Troy, NY!

This afternoon enjoy a Bare As You Dare ride!

This ride is clothing optional, which means express yourself however you like. Be creative! We are protected in our rights both constitutionally and within city & state codes to bike in as much (optional) nudity as we want since this ride falls under artistic, political, and educational expression.

Bare As You Dare Bike Ride!
Troy Bike Rescue
3280 6th ave 

We will meet at Troy Bike Rescue (TBR) to conduct bike safety checks, decorate, and get comfy before the ride. Any kind of non-motorized transportation is welcome. Helmets are encouraged.
Most of all, it is a fun and lively event that allows us to make bicycling super visible and celebrate our liberation on many fronts! Then great ready for the last ever Troy screening of Bike Smut!


August 26, 2016

Troy, Ready For the Bikesexual Future

Although it may not appear on the top 10 lists of any swanky magazines, Troy, New York has been keep their underground festive and lively, building their culture on their own. That kind of entrepreneurial spirit lends itself to appreciating other DIY kinda activities. So it is really exciting when we have talented hosts who want to actually take advantage of our presence and ACTUALLY *ADD* to the overall event!

It's like my excellent hosts in Milan once said, "Ya know, we a-love the Bike Schmoot, its great but the best part is not the films, its the pretext for our community to make our own bikesexual art"

Whew. When my people get it... they get it!

In the first year Bike Smut came to Troy was only two programs ago for The Porny Express. Reverend Phil was bike touring across North America and had to do some creating routing to grom from Montreal to Burlington back to the Capital District, then back to Boston, but they totally made it worth it and hosted a fun quick show... and The Troy Bike Rescue gave Rev.Phil one of the best, most confusing t-shirts ever!

srsly, there's a heart riding a bike, with a hypodermic needle as an eyeball... and some exposed rib cage, perhaps?

 The following year we had the right people lined up and sure enough they made sure to make it more involved with more people and more fun! Extra events and silly games were planned including a naked bike ride that was a series of Cop Cars following very slowly and creeping people out until we crossed the bridge out of their jurisdiction and all the drivers backed up behind them started passing us with great indifference to our well-being. The peril was no match for our optimism! As even as bikes were needing repair the team gathered and made it a fun time for all.

Now we have a community of sexy bike people, who are gonna make it a really exciting night!

Come celebrate liberation on wheels!

We will meet at Troy Bike Rescue (TBR) to conduct bike safety checks, decorate, and get comfy before the ride. Any kind of non-motorized transportation is welcome. Helmets are encouraged.

Bare As You Dare Bike Ride!
Troy Bike Rescue
3280 6th ave 


This ride is clothing optional, which means express yourself however you like. Be creative! We are protected in our rights both constitutionally and within city & state codes to bike in as much (optional) nudity as we want since this ride falls under artistic, political, and educational expression.

Most of all, it is a fun and lively event that allows us to make bicycling super visible and celebrate our liberation on many fronts! Then great ready for the last ever Troy screening of Bike Smut!

Bike Smut 9: Science Friction in Troy, NY
Sunday, August 28
The Ranch - 442 2nd St.
with snacks, libations, and LIVE PERFORMANCES!

with beer from Rare Form
adult material from eXpressions
 intrigue va La Domaine Esemar