April 30, 2011

Budapest Critical Mass, TODAY!



An amazing town!

Come enjoy the ride then stay for any of a half dozen of awesome parties

  • BIKE SMUT
  • Saturday, April 30th.
  • Almássy Hall
  • Budapest, District VII., Almássy tér 6.
  • 22:00
  • donations and smiles accepted!

April 29, 2011

a gnarly message in a bottle

Thanks Vienna, (or as they say, Wien) for the great show. An actual theater and everything!

Plus we got to see some pretty sweet skateboard art curated by our friends at Inoperable:


Im imagining the Pavement Princesses stranded on an island when this bottle washes ashore. Potential new script, perhaps?

Today we travel to Hungary, tomorrow we ride in one of (if not THE) worlds largest critical masses and play the fine, sexy, inspiring bike movies to the masses afterward!

April 26, 2011

And.... we're off!!

Behold the latest in Bike Smut European map technology!


Assuming that we are able to survive and complete the most exciting day of mind blowing bureaucratic numbness ever we will be leaving for Vienna, Austria in just a few hours!

Having already gone to the insurance and registration places to get the proper stamps on our asses we are now prepared for our full on "In the Bureaucratic-Black Tuesday" which involves us:
  • getting our brand new Euro-friendly stickers, and our even more euro "friendly" condoms out of a customs holding cell
  • making sure our used van pass its absurdly anal (even by porn standards) inspection
  • receiving our "green card" proof of insurance in the mail
  • taking those papers down to get our license plates at the euro equivalent of the DMV
  • printing out copies of our new Bike Smut Euro Tour Zine, now available in German, Italian, French and Spanish
Then we get the fuck outta town!

If we had any less stellar a team of bikesexuals there might be cause for alarm. But we have assembled quite the crew. You can read about us on the BikeSmut.com's slick new dossier page

Berlin Field Report



Check out the sweet hair at the end! If others have suggestions for how we should shave up this guy please leave them in the comments.

April 25, 2011

Niche Piece of Work


Please enjoy some casual reading on the status of internet pornography, thru the power of quantifiable measures and statistics, SEXY!

Something that we thought of immediately that the author didn't pick up on (or perhaps chose to not explicitly state) was the importance of niche porn. Who among us would proudly state that we really enjoy "mainstream porn"?

Can you imagine how that pillow talk would go?
"Hey, that sex was really good and I'm feeling ready for another round. You know what gets me really hot? Watching some missionary"
This probably comes from a truism of porn and fetishes, which goes something like, 'if it gets the players playing..." The idea being that people who make niche, fetish porn are often more likely into it themselves, or at least the people involved in its production are more likely to be excited about it, and that excitement will translate directly from the lens to the screen to your pants. (Either that or the money is better.)

This is as much a statement about pornography, as it is about filmmaking in general. Both have fallen on hard times since their artistic zenith of the 70s. Yet, because of the lowest-common-denominator style film making that we have been exposed to for so long, we have seen a new class of artists rise from the ashes like a smegma encrusted phoenix. Where grandiose films like Ben Hurr and Deep Throat have left off, projects like Made in Secret have stepped in with new production and distribution methods.

People have consistently defined ourselves by what separates us from others, by our uniqueness. More and more people are looking to be enticed by something they can feel is special. Something possibly dirty, taboo. Where will this desire end?

A better question is, when will it get you started? One of our goals in producing and touring with this program of self-propelled, DIY erotica is our belief that a individual's recognition and understanding of their sexuality will lead to an improved quality of life. The available alternative is learning to fuck just by watching standard porn. Which, due to porn's omnipresence, is becoming the de facto reality for many adolescents.

Even if bikes don't turn you on* (AHEM, WHAT!?!) you should know, and possibly have been steadfastly avoiding, the strange bits of life that make you sexually interesting. Meat and potatoes are fine, but avoiding fetish, or casting others off for being "weird" is generally a good indicator of sexual repression, or worse.

Move your ass and make some niche porn! If you wanna make some for us, the deadline for Bike Smut 5: SPEED is less than a month away!

*(we reluctantly accept that Bike Porn is not for everyone, and to that end we have already have developed a cunning, curiously NSFW plan to remedy this situation)

Image credit to Bike Smut Romania... WOW! We opened our 2nd international office without even knowing it!! Go us!!!

April 24, 2011

Pork for Jesus

Happy Easter, bike fuckers. This Sunday celebration of fertile springing could be your opportunity to score some bunny love in the bushes.


Love could be right around the corner. Then again, we could say the same thing about death, so be careful what you stick where.



photo credit to Pagans and Christians whose combined forces make for one hella crazy holiday!

April 21, 2011

We got more than a tiny sausage for ya


Halo Vienna!

After a couple weeks of stressful freak outs with international, finical, and bureaucratic nonsense we finally have a proper show to display the world premiere of our new Bike Smut Euro Tour program! (Gawd, we hope there are no more bureaucratic hoops)

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF PORN!

April 20, 2011

Cougars make love (and/or/not porn)


We recently were given some modest signs of approval from Cindy Gallop, creator of Make Love, Not Porn. We still think the idea of defining your own sexuality, and not letting others define it for you is pretty fucking great.

In this TED talk she does a fabulous job of explaining the real world consequences of a society that allows hardcore porn to be the primary form of sexual education.



We pimped her website almost a year before TED got around to posting this vid. That makes us practically bleeding edge! Plus this is a joyous bit of verbal engagement.

So then, are you an aspiring Cougar? Do you feel like going on the prowl? Have you thought about the conversations you might have with a young lover? Don't fret, the world needs your thoughtful hands to guide the future away from the sexual abyss!

Take heed, you have a lot of fresh meat on your plate... and plenty of young aspiring prey in the field! Go get em tigress!

April 19, 2011

A history of Bike Smut



In the past four SIX NINE (!) years we have shared our program of erotic bicycle movies quite a few times, in quite a few places. Hundreds of screenings later we still have never had any leaks!

"How can that be?" you ask.

Great follow up question, thank you for helping us illuminate this idea further.

We do not make DVDs (generally), we do not send screeners to the media. The filmmakers privacy is sacred and we shall not violate that trust and even though selling DVDs would make this a financially viable institution, and sending copies to the media would get us a butt load of press, we say "nay!" (often with a stuffy, British voice). "Nay, we shalt cheapen the experience of gathering as a community together!" For once we see in each other these ideals we can't help from recognizing that freedom of movement via human powered transportation and sexual liberation not only come from similar origins but also deliver you to a beautiful future!

But we are cleaning up things around here, so this ever expanding list of shows that used to be available on the sidebar and caused much confusion is going to live in this dark corner of the Bike Smut blog from now on.

Thanks for the mamories!

(UPDATE: now in chronological order)

-------------------------------------------------

The Pornography of the Bicycle
 
The Cascadian Bike Porn Tour (2007)
9/17 Seattle
9/19 Bellingham
9/21 Vancouver B.C.


The Bike Calipornification Tour (2007-8)
12/28 - Los Angeles
1/2/08 - Davis
1/3/08 - San Francisco
1/5/08 - Cottage Grove


The Bike Porn Eastern Swing! (2008) 


Bike Porn goes to Bike Prom! (2008)

  • 4/25 Victoria with special screening of the Velo Vixen documentary


  • Bike Smut 2: Bikexploitation

    Westward HO! Bikexploitation Tour

  • 10/6 Boise
  • 10/7 Pocatello
  • 10/9 Salt Lake City
  • 10/16 Ft Collins
  • 10/17 Boulder
  • 10/18 Denver
  • 10/21 Moab
  • 10/24 Durango
  • 10/27 Albuquerque
  • 10/29 Houston
  • 11/1 Austin
  • 11/5 Bisbee
  • 11/6 Tucson
  • 11/13 Phoenix
  • 11/19 San Diego
  • 11/21 Pitzer College
  • 11/23 Los Angeles!
  • 11/25 Santa Cruz
  • 11/28 San Francisco
  • 11/29 Oakland
  • 12/4 Eugene


    Viva Canada
    4/26 Victoria BC w/ Bike Prom
    5/29 Vancouver with pirates!


    Home, Sweet Home
  • 6/13/08 Clinton Street Theater
  • 10/2/08 Hollywood Theater
  •  
    Bike Porn Cascadian Bikexploitation Tour (2008)
  • 9/18 Bellingham
  • 9/20 Seattle
  • 9/22 Olympia

  • Bike Smut 3 CYCLE BOUND


    .. THE BACKLASH TOUR ..
    February - June 2010
    Imagine a DIY porn caravan heading south to Baja, East to the Atlantic, North to Canada, and all the way home to Cascadia.
    50 cities in 100 days... yes, you may crap yourself on our behalf.


    2/5 Vancouver,
    2/6 Victoria,
    2/11 Portland
    2/15 Eugene
    2/18 Ashland
    Sacramento
    Davis, CA POSTPONED
    2/19 San Francisco
    2/20 SF
    2/21 Oakland
    2/25 Santa Barbara
    2/26 Claremont Colleges
    2/27 Los Angles
    2/28 Long Beach
    3/1 San Diego
    3/3 Tempe
    3/4 Tucson
    3/6 Bisbee
    3/8 San Antonio
    3/10 Austin
    3/12 Houston
    3/13 New Orleans
    3/16 Mobile
    3/17 Pensacola
    3/18 Gainesville
    3/19 Orlando
    3/20 Sarasota
    3/23 Jacksonville
    3/25 Savannah
    3/26 Atlanta
    3/27 Asheville
    3/31 Carrboro
    4/2 Richmond
    4/7 Baltimore
    4/8 Washington DC
    4/9 Lancaster
    4/11 Philadelphia
    4/12 somewhere in NJ? NEIN!
    4/16 Brooklyn
    4/18 New Haven
    4/19 Providence
    4/21 Boston
    4/22 White River Jct, VT
    4/23 Ottawa
    4/24 Montreal
    4/25 Toronto
    4/26 Buffalo
    4/27 Pittsburgh
    4/28 Columbus
    4/30 Detroit
    5/1 Chicago
    5/4 Milwaukee
    5/5 Madison
    5/8 Minneapolis
    5/12 Winnipeg
    5/14 Regina
    5/15 Saskatoon
    5/18 Edmonton
    5/21 Calgary
    5/25 Missoula
    5/27 Bellingham
    5/29 Vancouver
    6/4 Olympia

    Bike Smut 4:PLAY

    The 2011 Northern Exposure Tour
    1/28 Victoria
    1/29 Vancouver
    2/5 Seattle
    2/11 Olympia
    3/3 Pullman
    3/6 Bozeman
    3/7 Minneapolis
    3/11 Madison
    3/12 Milwaukee
    3/13 Chicago
    3/16 Detroit
    3/18 Buffalo
    3/26 Toronto
    3/27 Ottawa
    3/30 Montreal
    3/31 Burlington, VT
    4/1 Boston
    4/2 Boston
    4/6 Providence
    4/9 New York

    European Tour

    27 April - Vienna, Austria
    30 April - Budapest, Hungary
    2 May - Fabrica, Bucharest, Romania
    6 May - Lambda Istanbul, İstanbul, Turkey
    13 May - ODTÜ, Ankara, Turkey
    15 May - Kaos GL, Ankara, Turkey
    17 May - Boğaziçi Üniversitesi, İstanbul, Turkey
    18 May - Empire Project Gallery, Istanbul, Turkey
    26 May - BFest, Athens, Greece
    29 May - Cerkno, Slovenia
    31 May - Social Center Rog, Ljubljana, Slovenia
    2 June - Zagreb, Croatia
    3 June - Kino Udarnik, Maribor, Slovenia
    7 June - MKSMC, Koper, Slovenia
    10 June - Wien Bikekitchen, Vienna, Austria
    12 June - Kapu, Linz, Austria
    13 June - Styrian Sprint Shop, Graz, Austria
    15 June - Cross Club, Prague, Czech Republic
    17 to 19 June - GenderFuck festival, Tabor, Czech Republic
    20 June - Galerie Skleněná Louka, Brno, Czech Republic
    21 June - Bratislava Bikekitchen, Bratislava, Slovakia
    22 June - Klub 29, Pardubice, Czech Republic
    24 June - Cafe Miesna, Poznan, Poland
    28 June to 3 July - Bike Punk Fest, Warsaw, Poland
    5 July - Lenin Shipyard, Gdansk, Poland
    7 July - King Kong Klub, Berlin, Germany
    9 Berlin - Schwelle 7, Berlin, Germany
    14 July - Autonomes Zentrum, Cologne, Germany
    15 July - Gangerviertel, Hamburg, Germany
    16 July - Erbse, Kiel, Germany
    21 July - Kontrapunkt, Malmo, Sweden
    23 July - Bokkafe Velgo, Gothenburg, Sweden
    25 July to 31 July - Queer Festival, Copenhagen, Denmark
    30 July - Kopi Squat, Berlin, Germany
    3 August - Filmhuis Cavia, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
    5-6 August - DIY Bikefest, Scheveningen, The Netherlands
    7 August - Passing Clouds, London, England
    12 August - The Motorcycle Showroom, Bristol, England
    14 August - Yard Theatre, Manchester, England
    20-21 August - Supernormal Festival, Oxfordshire, England
    27 August - The Forest, Edinburgh, Scotland
    28 August - Islington Mill, Manchester, England
    30 August - Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London, England
    31 August - ReWorks, Cambridge, England
    1 September - Colorama, London, England
    2 September - The Marlborough Theatre, Brighton, England
    7 September - Andrea's house, Brussels, Belgium
    8 September - Les Marmottes, Amiens, France
    10 September - Nicolas Ehrhart Cycles &Le Houla Oups, Paris, France
    16 September - Casablanca, Madrid, Spain
    17 September - Patio Maravillas, Madrid, Spain
    22 September - Teatro de los Manantiales, Valencia, Spain
    24 September - My Beautiful Parking, Barcelona, Spain
    27 September - Le Trou de Balle, Toulouse, France
    29 September - Association le No, Marseilles, France
    30 September - Un p'tit vélo dans la tête, Grenoble, France
    1 October - Les Tanneries, Dijon, France
    2-3 October - Tostaki, Lyon, France
    5 October - Cinema Oblo, Lausanne, Switzerland
    6 October - Csoa Gabrio, Turin, Italy
    7 October - Cascina Torchiera, Milan, Italy
    8 October - Sos Furnace, Milan, Italy
    9 October - Mondrian Suite, Rome, Italy
    11 October - Ciclofficina, Modena, Italy
    12 October - Autonomer Beauty Salon, Zurich, Switzerland
    14 October - Kafe Marat, Munich, Germany
    27 October - Porn Film Fest Berlin separatist show


    -------------------------------------------------





    Bike Smut 6:Turning TriXXX


    SEATTLE
    Sun Aug 19
    20/20 Cycles @ 20th and Union
    7:15

    BEND
    Thu Sept 6
    Tin Pan Cinema @ Tin Pan Alley
    7:15 and 9:15

    SALT LAKE
    Sat Sept 8
     - 8pm
    .3 % Productions - 1130 S. Richards St

    BOULDER, CO
    Wed Sept 12
     - 7pm
    Phoenix Asylum - 2510 47th St

    DENVER, CO
    Fri Sept 14
     - 10:30pm
    Deer Pile - 206 East 13th Ave

    Ft. Collins, CO
    Sat Sept 15
     - 10:30pm
    Lyric Cafe - 300 E Mountain

    BOZEMAN, MT
    Wed Sept 19
     - 7pm
    The Procrastinator - Strand Union @MSU


    Sat, Sept 22 - 10pm
    Bedlam Theatre - The Ivy Building - 2714 27th Street E

    Madison, WI
    Wed Sept 26
     - 7pm
    Lothlorien Co Op 244 W Lakelawn Pl

    Milwaukee, WI
    Thu Sept 27
     - 8pm
    Public House - 815 E Locust St

    Chicago, IL
    Sat Sept 29
     - 11:59pm
    Music Box

    Detroit, MI
    Sat Oct 6
     - 9:15pm
    Crass City Theater - 3420 Cass Ave

    Toronto, ON
    Thu Oct 11
     - 8:30pm
    CineCycle - behind 129 Spadina Ave

    Ottawa, ON
    Sat Oct 13
    TBA brewpub

    Montreal, QB
    Tue Oct 16
     - 9:30pm
    Cafe Artere - 7000 Ave du Parc

    Burlington, VT
    Thu Oct 18
    The Firefly - 200 main st.

    Boston, MA
    Fri Oct 19 - 7:30, 9:15, 11pm
    The Video Underground -
    385 Centre Street Jamaica Plain

    Providence, RI
    Sat Oct 20 - 9pm
    Dungeon C

    Providence, RI
    Sun Oct 21 - 6pm
    Libertalia - 280 Broadway #200

    Brooklyn, NY
    Thu Oct 25 - 830pm
    Goodbye Blue Monday - 1087 Broadway


    Washington DC
    Fri Oct 26
    Sova - 1359 H Street Northeast

    Richmond, VA
    Sun Oct 28
    Movie Loft

    Asheville, NC
    Mon Oct 29
    Shit House

    New Orleans, LA
    Sat Nov 3
    Mud Lark

    Houston, TX
    Mon Nov 5

    Notsuoh - 314 Main St
    314 Main Street 


    Mexico City
    Sabado, Nov 17
    Casa Bicitecas, Central Del Pueblo,  Republica De Nicaragua #15  Colonia Centro


    Guadalajara



    Guadalajara, Mexico

    Mericules 5 Dec




    Puebla, Mexico
    Sábado 15 de diciembre

     Oaxaca, Mexico
    26 Dec
    THE END OF ALL CAPS
    Cafe Central
    http://www.colectivocentral.com/
    Cidudad de Mexico
    29 Dec
    the end of the year
    Puebla Central w Bicitekas
    United States
    Austin, TX
    January 5
    29th St Ballroom
    w Bed Post Confessions and Queer Ride
    San Antonio, TX
    January 8
    Boneshakers
    Tucson, AZ
    January 11
    The Screening Room
    Phoenix, AZ
    January 12
    Trunk Space

    CALIFORNIA


    Friday Jan 18 
    HIGHLAND PARK
    3706 N. Figueora St
    8pm , $5  
    Saturday Jan 19
    SILVER LAKE
    Church of FUN
    4109 melrose ave
    6pm and 10pm, $5 presale, $10 day of show
    Sunday Jan 20
    LONG BEACH
    105 W Broadway

    Santa Cruz
    Sat. Jan 23rd
    Bike church
    703 pacific ave.  

    Oakland
    Sunday Feb 3rd
     The Roll Up Bicycle Shop & Art Space
    4401 San Leandro St

    San Fancisco
    Tuesday, February 5, 2013
    El Rio
    3158 Mission St., San Francisco


    Friday, May 17
    Sudo Room

    2141 Broadway
    8:30,

    Come Find Me - World Premiere
    Saturday, June 1st
    Center for Sex and Culture 
    1349 Mission Street
    8 - 10 pm,

    friday, April, 19
    Davis, California
    The Domes


    Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express
    2014
    2/1 Houston
    1/26 NOLA
    1/19 Dallas
    1/17 Austin
    1/11 San Antonio

    2013
    12/29 Galveston
    12/26 Houston
    12/22 New Orleans
    12/15 Gainesville
    12/13 Jacksonville
    12/11 Athens, GA
    12/04 Memphis
    12/01 Nashville
    11/8 Baltimore
    11/6 Philadelphia
    11/24 Knoxville, TN
    11/23 Asheville, NC
    11/17 Raleigh
    11/14 RVA
    11/10 DC
    11/1 Brooklyn
    10/29 Boston
    10/24 Troy
    10/21 Burlington
    10/17 Montreal
    10/10 Toronto
    10/1 Indianapolis

    9/7 Denver
    9/6 Denver
    9/5 Boulder
    9/10 Ft. Collins
    9/1 Ogden
    8/30 Salt Lake

    8/4 Seattle
    7/20 Vancouver
    7/6 Homer, AK
    7/12 Anchorage
    6/12 Portland


  • 6/12, 6/22 Portland - Bonus screenings


  • Bike Smut 8: Come Again



    2014
    September
    12 Portland -world premiere
    21 Eureka

    October
    2 San Francisco
    4 Davis
    8 Oakland
    9 Emeryville
    11 San Jose
    24 LA

    November
    6 Boulder @ PhoenixAsylum
    8 Denver @Velowood Cyclery
    11 Ft Collins @LyricCinema
    12 Col Springs @Voodoo Leatherworks
    14 Salt Lake @Physic's Warehouse
    21 Phoenix @ Space 55
    22 Tucson @ Screening Room


    December
    6 Austin @ North Door
    18 San Antonio @ K23 Gallery
    23 Houston @Notsuoh





    2015

    January/ Ener
    10 Puebla


    Febrero
    1 Puerto Escondito
    6 Guadalajara
    14 Salton Sea
    19 LA - Church of Fundraiser
    21 San Jose
    28 Oakland

    March
    3 San Francisco
    8 Las Vegas
    14 Tucson @ Cyberspunk
    21 Jacksonville @ Zen Cog
    23 St Augustine @ Shanghai Nobby's



      April 24 Toronto w the Feminist Porn Awards!

    May
    2 Montreal
    6 Burlington
    10 Boston w/ Dr Sketchy
    12 Troy
    14 Buffalo
    22 Detroit
    29 Kansas City

    Bike Smut: Back in the Saddle a second European explor-tation

     March Mars Marzo März
    7 Geneve
    8 Lausanne
    11 St-Étienne
    12 Grenoble
    13 Lyon

    April Avril Aprile April
    13 Paris @ La Mutinerie - 178 Rue Saint-Martin
    14 Ghent 
    17 Brussels @ Byrrh - 4 rue dieudonné lefevre , 1020 bruxelles
    18 Amsterdam @ Filmhuis Cavia - Van Hallstraat 52-1HG
    22 Zurich
    26 Catania, Italia @ Zeronove - Via Opificio 12

    May Mai Maggio Mai 
    7 Palermo @ Taverna Bukowski - piazzetta teatro santa cecilia 22 @ 19h
    10 Torino @ Csoa Gabrio - via Francesco Millio 42 @ 21h
    17-18 Milano @ Leoncavallo
    21 Modena @ Libera - via del Tirassegno 7 @ 21:30
    30 Roma @ ExSnia -  via Prenestina 173 @ 23:59

    June Juin Giugno Juni
    2 Roma @ ciclofficina del gazometro - via Caboto, 15 - ostiense @ 21h
    CANCELLED
    6 Napoli @ ex Asylum - Vico G.Maffei 65 @21h, post CM
    11 Pescara Sweet Polo Porno Party!
    14 Rimini @ Grotta Rossa @DIY FEST - Via della Lontra, 40
    19 Bologna @ Xm24 - via Fioravanti, 24
    22 Vicenza @ ADA Lab - via Btg. Framarin 42
    27 Padova @ TBA after Critical Mass

    July Juillet Luglio Juli 
    3 Zagreb @ FB event  20h
    10 Maribor
    12 Graz
    16 Leipzig @ Giesserstrasse 16. 21h
    18 Augsburg @ CityClub, Königsplatz. 20h
    19 Munich @ Akademiestr 2-4. 20h
    24 Linz @ BikeKitchen kapuzinerstrasse 36 21h
    25 Bratislava @ Jamaica 
    26 Vienna @ Schikaneder Margaretenstraße 24. 22h

    August Août Agosto August
    5 Vienna "B-sides" @ grillplatz 13, Donau Insel
    8 Brno @ FBB Klub Na Dráze, Nadražní 9, 21:30h
    10 Pardubice @ Inner Dark Polská 898, 20h
    28 Copenhagen
    30 Malmo

    September
    2 Hamburg
    4 Kiel @ Muthesius-Hochschule Kiel Industriedesign Lorentzendamm 6-8  
    6 Berlin @ Eiszeitkino, Zeughofstraße 20 

    -------------------------------------------------

    Bike Smut 9: Science Friction
    2015
    June
    25 Portland, world premiere

    July
    11 Las Vegas, with the opening of the world's largest sex bike at the Erotic Heritage Museum

    18 Anchorage, Alaska part of the Midnight Sunburn bike polo tournament

    August
    9 Seattle, at the Center For Sex Positive Culture

    September
    3 Burning Man w Tender Heckles 9:15 & A

    November
    8 Denver
    10 Ft. Collins
    18 Boulder
    22 Colorado Springs

    [THE LONGEST ELAPSED TIME WITHOUT A SCREENING SINCE 2008]

    2016
    April
    23 Bristol
    29 London

    May
    5
    San Francisco
    7
    Los Angeles
    7
    Nuremberg
    21 Amsterdam

    June
    3
    Philadelphia
    5
    NYC Porn Film Fest


    July
    14 Vienna

    August
    7 Boston
    25 Burlington
    28 Troy
    31 White River Junction

    September
    10 Montreal
    17 Harvest Fest
    22 Toronto
    24 Buffalo
    27 Columbus, OH

    October
    1 Detroit Bike!Bike!
    9 Chicago
    15 Milwaukee
    27 Minneapolis Cancelled! Wow! That's only happened like once before! (we missed the Slovenian National Downhill Championships when the gear box of our tour van, Stonewall Johnson, blew up in northern Greece)
    29 Berlin Porn Film Festival

    2017
    MEXICO
    ¡FINAL FELIZ EN MEXICO!

    APRIL
    21 World Bicycle Forum Ciudad de México, Casa Biciteka, 21h
    28 NAASN @ Biblioteca Social Reconstruir, Godard & Delibes, Guadalupe Victoria II, 18h

    MAY
    1 Hotel Condesa DF
    9 San Cristobal, Chiapas11 Oaxaca City
    12 Puebla Centro Historica
    13 Puebla
    14 Cholula

    SPAIN

    October
    8 en Barcelona @ Rueda International Cycling Film Festival


    FRANCE
    14 en Toulouse



    April 18, 2011

    Bike Porn is Hungary!


    This shit is ON!

    The brand new European Bike Smut show is gonna be showcased at one of the world's largest non-organized bike rides.
    • BIKE SMUT
    • Saturday, April 30th.
    • Almássy Hall
    • Budapest, District VII., Almássy tér 6.
    • 22:00
    • donations and smiles accepted!

    Critical Mass ride starts at 16:00 on Vérmező (Buda side of the river, around Krisztina tér)

    Photo credit to Cycle Chic via the Tucson Bike Lawyer and Hungary Critical Mass

    Sharing a social media disease

    Holey new web testicles, Batman! This them Bike Smut internerds have done been BLOWING UP!




    • We have a new website (well, kinda. It's two moths old, we just never bothered to announce it when it was new)
    • We have a new look on the blog
    • We have a brand new tumblr
    • We have an old twitter
    • We have an old Facebook page that will also have more great bikesexual content soon

    But now we need your help. Every stupid, vapid, jerkface begs you to befriend them. Many are totally worth your time. The problem is we are adrift in a super highway sea of lame sexual content. We can't even count the number of times that we have been shut down before we could explain how sweet our goals are. This is where YOU come in. If you believe in our mission to improve people's lives through better sex and transportation than you must connect us with others, because no one believes us when we say how awesome our politics are.

    Do your part to pass these ideals on! Your friends will be glad you did.

    **NOTE: persistent rubbing up against your computer can result in chafing, or worse. Consult an IT physician.**

    April 17, 2011

    Flogging Bloggin

    Back in the day you had to steal a half dozen bikes to get enough tubes to build your own flogger. But those days are over! Our friends at Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI have done the leg work for you. Just look at these colorful ways to make the pneumatic slap!Of course you can still get all DIY and build your own, but if time is short and you got a whole lotta ass to beat, you could save some time and potential embarrassment (if your braiding skills are not stellar).

    Whup that biker ass!

    Thanks to Daniella M. Echeverria for a great inspiring image

    April 16, 2011

    Gettin' Lucky with it!


    Let us take measure of our good fortune:

    We were still able to buy tickets to Europe the day of our travel after the airline cancelled them and sent the "you can fly on our plane" message in German.

    We were able to convince the ticket lady to kick some bureaucratic ass for us and hold the flight and escort us through security checkpoint allowing us to jump onto the plane moments before the gates closed.

    We were unable to get our bikes on the same plane, but because we got lost walking to our Berlin host we didn't have to drag heavy boxes all over and instead got them delivered.

    We found a great place to show bike porn in Berlin, but the show was already cancelled, but we have a number of people lining up for more bike on biker action.

    We now have a van and are about to start traveling all over the continent.



    We are staying in a great place, with excellent hosts who have a wall of macaws.

    We have been able to party with great people and will do so again!

    April 14, 2011

    sweet piles of party




    There are some things that help make porn even more delectable than normal. In sex, as with bikes the proper lubrication is necessary, so be sure to stock up on useful items. Here are some bribes presented to our friends at Filmed By Bike are having their ninth annual festival in Portland, Oregon.

    Bike parties are generally the best parties, get down there and enjoy the awesome.

    Keep an eye or ear out for the secret post FBB film screening!

    Congrats and huzza!

    April 13, 2011

    Fahrrad Porno


    Hallo! Ich bin ein pornograza!

    We have arrived in the lions den and are getting ready to share the wonderful world of inspiring bicycle smut with the Fatherland! What a fabulous way to start off an epic six-month tour of Europe! This is by far the most ambitious adventure of bikesexuality we have ever taken on! Yes! We do exclaim!

    We are fortunate to have a great team of happy-go-fucky bike punks who will be keeping us moving and grooving across the Euro landscape. Expect dossiers on us all soon, as well as an updated tour schedule. But until then, we are ecstatic that we made it (and hope that our luggage and bikes find their way to us soon).

    What did the German dumpster diver say to the pile of bread?

    Glutten Tag

    April 7, 2011

    Seeing the porn forest from the bike trees

    Oh, hi there!
    Behold, submitted imagery from our friends in Chapel Hill. Not all porn has to be explicit. Engaging the brain as well as the junk is a fine way to flex some muscles. In this case the image suggests blooming ideas and getting shit done. Pretty sexy. Of course we wouldn't mind

    This kind of hot weather sensation gives us pause for leaving the United States. We have found fantastic people everywhere we have gone in North Amand we are looking forward to returning someday. Until then its Europe (and/)or BUST!

    There are only a scant few days until we jet out to Berlin! If you find us at a show, in a gutter or your bed just remember we are training for our future rockstar status please so give us a kiss for good luck!

    Dont just sit around rubbing yourself, thinking about your sweet bikesexual ideas! Share that good shit! Send your inspiring pictures, drawings, words, intentions or hate mail to BikeSmut@gmail.com

    April 6, 2011

    Brooklyn en Fuego!

    New York is the end of the road for our smutty bike team in North America. If you didn't see 4:PLAY by now you might not get a chance. We don't sell DVDs, its not online and we don't get to play the same city twice. But if you are in New York this Saturday, and you consider yourself mature enough to watch porn with friends and strangers than you have a chance for EPIC BIKE LOVE! For not only do we have the final Northern Exposure Tour screening of Bike Porn 4: PLAY but also a chance to see the hottest new bicycle dance troop, Heelz on Wheelz!

    Sit down. Breathe. Check your pulse. Its still too early to flip your shit. Glorious, inspiring, erotic bicycle movies are coming

    Saturday April 9th
    Brooklyn Fire Proof
    119 Ingraham St. (In the alley)
    located between Knickerbocker and Porter
    Dance performance at 8 Movies at 9

    A new POV in Providence

    Broken tour vehicle? Hey we got bikes!

    Broken laptop? Hey, we got friends!


    No number of setbacks well prevent us from delivering the goods!! We got beverages and popcorn, come get some!



    BIKE PORN 4:PLAY

    TONIGHT

    Wednesday, April 6th

    Dirt Palace

    12 Olenyville SQ, Providence

    8:30 pm preshow

    Donations and love accepted

    April 1, 2011

    Bean Town Pimpin

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    We interrupt this self congratulatory blog post with a healthy dose of luscious bloggity masturbation
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    "This isn’t your mom and dad’s porn. This isn’t even the stuff adolescent boys dream of; it’s porn with a niche, porn for a specific counterculture looking for some offbeat fun." Dig Boston article by - JENNIFER CHOI

    “The goals have always been to showcase work that is under-represented. Sometimes it’s queer, sometimes it’s women, and sometimes it’s straight men. Regardless, it’s all work that nurtures me and my communities and makes Boston a little more bearable” CineMental founder Aliza Shapiro.
    ============
    We now return to our regularly scheduled self love.
    ============
    WE IS SO LOVED!

    Boston really loves Bike Porn. Last year the bikesexuals of Boston made it clear, these people love bikes and sex. Approximately 450 fine-ass-fuck lovers of cycles packed the Brattle to the gills.

    This weekend, we do it again... twice!

    Here is a snippet of what has been said in the buildup: border guard life for the touring bike pornographer


    "Put down your messenger bag, roll down your pant leg, and stop freaking out drivers and pedestrians for a moment" ZING! The New Gay throws down some find derogatory fashion commentary

    And finally, the Phoenix demands that you watch the goods! "Bike Porn: for some reason when you put those two words together, they sound extra dirty"

    Oh yea, as dirty as you make it.

    GET YOUR TIX NOW

    Thanks for helping us reach the sexy masses! With all this attention we hope to look good enough for yalls!